Tank Park Salute

Kiss me goodnight and say my prayers
Leave the light on at the top of the stairs
Tell me the names of the stars up in the sky
A tree taps on the window pane
That feeling smothers me again
Daddy is it true that we all have to die
At the top of the stairs
Is darkness
I closed my eyes and when I looked
Your name was in the memorial book
And what had become of all the things we planned
I accepted the commiserations
Of all your friends and your relations
But there'some thing I still don't understand
You were so tall
How could you fall?
Some photographs of a summer's day
A little boys lifetime away
Is all I've left of everything we've done
Like a pale moon in a sunny sky
Death gazes down as I pass by
To remind me that I'm but my fathers son
I offer up to you
This tribute
I offer up to you
This tank park salute

I was listening to BBC Radio Five Live today over the Internet, feeling homesick, as I often do around Christmas time. Simon Mayo was interviewing Billy Bragg, the singer, and Bob Wilson, the ex England goalie and founder of the Willow Foundation, about the loss they have experienced in their lives.

Then Billy Bragg played Tank Park Salute, a song he wrote about his father, who he watched die of lung cancer when he was 17. Though he knew his Dad was dying, they never talked about it. He said watching his father die was like a slow car crash. He spoke of the regret of neither him or his father ever acknowledging that his father was dying over the two years he watched him die.

This is a deeply personal song that moves us precisely because it is personal. It's not that we can relate to Billy Bragg's memories of his father; it's more that the honesty and beauty of these memories allows us, or maybe even forces us, to access our own.

Thanks Billy for forcing me to remember today. It's odd, but I feel a whole lot less homesick now. It's like my wife says about cravings: when you get one, indulge it.

Posted by Setsunai at December 5, 2003 4:53 PM | TrackBack